people suk

being underestimated is one of my favorite things ever.

on the real though, it gives me so much room to succeed.  it motivates me so much and gives me something to look forward to on the days when personal satisfaction just doesn't cut it.

so.

you're right.  i'm not pretty.  and i'm not fit.  and i don't do my hair or dress well or any of that.  but one day, i will.  i'll have a nasty body and i will be confident and humble and charming and lovely and i'll wear cute sweaters and pants that make my butt look great and more than anything, i will shine with my own confidence and belief and beauty and it'll be enough for me and it'll be just overwhelming for you.  maybe i'll never be pretty.  but i will be beautiful.  and i'll feel really bad for you that day.

i seem like i'm doing nothing.  going nowhere.  and on the real, there are days i agree with you.  my life is so confusing and it breaks my heart and i'm so frustrated with the way i've been living and maybe you're right.  maybe i can't have what i want.  maybe i can't play volleyball in college and i'll never be good or gritty or brave or confident enough to play professionally and maybe i'm doomed to live a life like the life i have been living.  but i don't think so.  i think i can have damn well anything i'm willing to work for and i will do it all to show you it can be done.  and then i will smile and blow you a kiss because don't forget, i'm charming now too.

i can do this.  i will do this.  i believe in myself, and i guess what i'm trying to tell you is that i don't need you to do that for me.

good day.